The art of regulation: Are we spreading safety or chaos?
I will never forget my first day in the classroom as a graduate teacher. I was teaching a subject way outside my comfort zone (maths), and I was teaching a group of 16 and 17-year-olds, all residing in residential care.
I spent hours preparing for that first lesson. I refined my lesson plan, I handmade beautiful resources, and thought I had nailed the “fun” and “engagement” side of things.
As I drove to work that morning, my nervous system was going crazy. I was sweaty, my heart rate was noticeably high, and I remember almost missing the turn off from the freeway (this was before I owned a smartphone).
I was riddled with self-doubt.
I spent time in the classroom early that morning, setting the furniture, writing on the whiteboard, and placing my resources around the room.
Some of my students arrived early for breakfast, and I floated around, saying hi, but barely absorbing a word they said in return. I was so nervous.
When it was time, we walked into the classroom together, and I launched into my well-scripted lesson plan.
It’s safe to say it didn’t go well.
There were pens all over the floor, and my writing on the whiteboard was replaced with drawings of penises. And my handmade resources? Ripped in half and placed in the bin.
It seems my students had fun testing out the graduate teacher.
So, why did it go so wrong? It sounds like I did what all good teachers would do, right?
Well, not quite. The best teachers focus on more than lesson plans and resources.
If I could go back in time and redirect my energy, time, and focus, I’d place it all on my nervous system and the nervous systems of my students. I’d have scrapped the plans and spent time connecting.
Would it have kept the pens on the desks, the penises off the whiteboard, and my handmade resources intact? Who knows.
But it would have helped me focus on the one thing I could actually control: myself.
Whether we realise it or not, we’re always bringing our nervous system into the room. If I’m dysregulated, anxious, or on edge (even if I’m smiling through it), that energy spreads. I’ve come to understand this now. But back then, I didn’t yet have the language or tools to make sense of it.
Here’s the thing about regulation- it’s contagious. We’re either spreading a sense of safety, or we’re unconsciously adding to the chaos.
Years later, I remember teaching some wellbeing science to some of my VCAL students. I shared some of my wellbeing practices with them and told them I meditated each morning before work. One of my students asked if I did that so I could “put up with them each day.”
We had a bit of a laugh about it, but then I responded that I meditate so they can “put up with me.”
Working on our nervous system surely widens our window of tolerance, but I’m sure it also makes us more tolerable for those around us, too. It helps us to show up and be better teachers, youth workers, carers, parents, partners, and friends.
So, if I were mentoring that younger version of myself, the one with the colour-coded resources and the panicked drive to work, I wouldn’t start with the lesson plan.
I’d start with regulation. With the science of safety. With the simple but powerful idea that how we are matters more than what we do.
The truth is, safety isn’t just built through routines or rules. It’s built through presence. Through consistency. Through nervous systems that say, “I’m here, I’ve got you, and we’re okay.”
And that starts with us.
Wagtail Institute is here to help
When workplaces are truly trauma-informed, we see good outcomes for their entire communities. We’re here to help you move beyond survival mode.
Creating a trauma-informed workplace where staff feel safe, supported, and competent requires a multi-faceted approach, a new perspective and way of being with each other. It’s not just a bunch of catchy words.
We work alongside leaders, teachers, social workers, and a variety of practitioners to respond to wellbeing challenges, enhance trauma-informed practice, and navigate pathways to healing.
If you are curious about what this could look like in your setting, schedule a free consult call with Megan.
If you are a practitioner (teacher, social worker, caregiver, support worker or generally just curious) who feels ready to take care of yourself and positively influence your colleagues, we have created an eBook on trauma-informed wellbeing. This ebook is designed to help you navigate the complexities of working in trauma-affected environments, equipping you with practical strategies to enhance your wellbeing and effectiveness. Grab your guide today.
