I’ve spent the past 20 years working alongside children and young people in some capacity. The majority of that time has been spent as an educator, working alongside teenagers who experienced childhood trauma. They often lived in out-of-home care or were clients of child protection and they were facing significant disadvantage.

Many of these young people's future trajectories seemed uncertain, and I was really passionate about showing them possibilities, helping them see some positive pathways, and giving them keys to open doors they didn’t believe existed.

So, of course, I became deeply curious about the outcomes of these young people.

What helped them to step towards a healthy future?
What helped them engage in further study or employment?
What helped them to live independently after life in out-of-home care?

As an educator, I haven’t tracked all of these students into adulthood, but those who still reach out to me are often those who have stepped towards that healthy future, those who are happily employed and navigating a life living independently, some even parenting now.

So, in 2018, I set out to complete my Masters and I directed a lot of my focus on ‘belonging,’ with my capstone: ‘Understanding how belonging gives us reason to live and enhances positive outcomes after childhood trauma’ where I had a little fun ripping apart Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

What has culminated over the past 20 years, whether it be through an endless literature review and ripping apart Maslow, through my work with young people, or through my consulting, is that belonging is at the core of our wellbeing.

In this blog, I am going to share a case study that highlights the transformative power of belonging, while exploring what made it possible (the wellbeing of the practitioners involved).

How did we land at practitioner wellbeing? Why are we so focused on adults now?

Of course, we care about you—your wellbeing matters deeply. We care about the practitioners who show up, day after day, to do this challenging and transformative work.

But at the heart of this caring lies our shared "why."

Why do we do this work?

Because of the children and young people who need you.

Belonging is a fundamental human need—the drive to connect with others and feel accepted (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). To truly experience belonging, we need consistent, positive interactions with people who genuinely care about our wellbeing and are invested in our growth.

For traumatised children and young people, the opportunity to experience this sense of belonging often comes through you. It’s the relationships you build with them—relationships rooted in care, consistency, and trust—that create the conditions for belonging to flourish.

A story of belonging: Marcus’ journey

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick” (Brown, 2010).

A baby boy is born. His sixteen-year-old mother, despite living with a disability and facing overwhelming challenges, feels immense joy and love as she cradles her new son, Marcus.

But love, as pure as it is, isn’t always enough. Within his first month of life, Marcus suffers significant neglect and is exposed to violence. His mother tries her best, but her circumstances make it impossible to meet his needs or keep him safe.

For the first three years of his life, Marcus bounces between his mother and a foster family as she struggles to create stability. Ultimately, it doesn’t work. At three years old, Marcus is placed permanently in the out-of-home care (OOHC) system.

His first foster care placement lasts until he is eight. Then, Marcus moves into the residential care system, living with three other young people and shift-working staff. By fourteen, Marcus has already endured three residential care placements, four OOHC placements in total. He has been incarcerated twice, suspended or expelled from every school he’s attended, and spirals deeper into risk-taking behaviours.

By all accounts, Marcus is on a path many would consider inevitable. But then, something changes.

At fourteen, Marcus enrols in a school that would never expel him—no matter how difficult things got. It’s a school built on the idea that every young person deserves to belong, no exceptions. Around the same time, his residential care placement also stabilises, something almost unheard of in the system. He stays in one home for the next three years with consistent staffing.

Two relationships during this time become pivotal. Marcus bonds with the house manager, a woman who treats him with unconditional positive regard and genuine care, no matter what. At school, Marcus is assigned the same key teacher each year, who shows up for him day after day, year after year.

These relationships begin to anchor him. Slowly, the chaos in his life starts to calm. His risk-taking behaviours decrease. His self-esteem grows. He starts showing up to school every day and even secures part-time work while completing his Victorian Certificate of Applied Learning (VCAL).

Now, Marcus is almost 30 years old. He lives independently, works full-time, has hobbies, is exploring further study opportunities, and has even started travelling overseas.

When asked what made the difference, Marcus points to one thing: the sense of belonging he found during those teenage years. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t instant, but it was enough to motivate him to meet his own needs and start building a future.

Marcus’ story is real, and he was the inspiration for my capstone.

I was his key teacher for those high school years.

Please note: Marcus’ name has been changed to protect his identity.

Belonging starts with us

Marcus’ story isn’t unique. There are thousands of young people just like him—each carrying the weight of their past, each navigating a system that often struggles to meet their needs. And yet, when one adult shows up for them with consistency and care, it can change everything.

What strikes me most about Marcus’ journey isn’t just his resilience but the pivotal role of the adults around him. He often tried to push us all away, but we stayed. I didn’t know how lucky I was at the time, but I was working in a very healthy team culture, I was mentored by incredible leaders who cared about my wellbeing, and I was trained to understand Marcus’ needs. It wasn’t hard for me to stay.

Belonging isn’t just a warm concept; it’s tangible. It’s what allows young people to anchor themselves, to start believing in their worth, and to take steps toward a future they once thought impossible.

And the key to fostering this belonging? It’s the adults—the practitioners, educators, carers, and mentors—who create the conditions for it.

But here’s the thing: this work is hard. It’s emotional. It’s exhausting. And if we’re not intentional about prioritising practitioner wellbeing, the cost is high—not just for the adults but for the young people who rely on them.

The ripple effect of practitioner wellbeing

When practitioners are well, they show up differently. They’re more present, more patient, and better equipped to handle the complexities of trauma-affected children and young people.

Wellbeing isn’t just “self-care.” Wellbeing is about creating environments where adults feel supported, valued, and equipped. It’s about recognising that the work we do—though meaningful—is heavy, and we need systems in place to help us carry it.

This is why the Wagtail Institute exists.

We focus on practitioner wellbeing because we know it’s the foundation for everything else. When you feel steady and supported, you can give your best to the young people in your care. And when young people experience consistent, caring adults, they thrive.

Why your "why" matters

As practitioners, it’s easy to lose sight of our "why" in the busyness and overwhelm of daily work. But stories like Marcus’ remind us why we started.

Your work matters.

The moments you spend building trust, showing up, and creating safety—they matter. Even on the hardest days, when progress feels invisible, you’re planting seeds. Seeds of belonging, of hope, of possibility.

And our “why” is here to help you with your “why.”

A call to action

Let’s keep putting belonging at the centre. Let’s remember that the relationships we build—and the care we extend—are what truly change lives.

At the Wagtail Institute, we’re here to support you in this work. We believe in the ripple effect of your wellbeing. When you’re equipped with trauma-informed knowledge and tools to care for yourself, you can keep showing up for the young people who need you most.

This year, let’s work together to make an even greater impact. We work alongside trauma-informed practitioners, carers and parents to navigate the wellbeing challenges. We develop bespoke training to meet the needs of your unique setting. Book a call with Megan today.

If you are a practitioner (teacher, social worker, caregiver, support worker or generally just curious) who feels ready to take care of yourself and positively influence your colleagues, we have created an eBook on trauma-informed wellbeing. This ebook is designed to help you navigate the complexities of working in trauma-affected environments, equipping you with practical strategies to enhance your wellbeing and effectiveness. Grab your guide today.

References:

Brown, B. (2010). Gifts of imperfection, the: Hazelden Information & Educational Services.

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497

Fostering belonging after childhood trauma: why practitioner wellbeing is key